Why did Peter Rabbit cross the road?

I was riding today on 311 near New Castle when I was exposed to DEATH!




Was it some type of flesh eating disease that can only be cured by vomitting popcorn flavored jelly beans onto a blowtorch and scooping ice cream onto the wound then calling for some Gumby's Pokie Stix to soak it up? No.

This was real DEATH!

A large furry bunny rabbit, whom I cleverly named Peter Rabbit, had been chilling in his foxhole that he had cleverly dug to hide from birds of prey on the side of the road when suddenly a TOP SPORTER swished past him! ZOOM! Peter Rabbit wondered what kind of excitement could be stirring outside his nest. Was it perhaps the Tour of Flanders? No, he thought; too early and unfortunately the wrong country. Rabbits are smart.

Peter Rabbit dashed out of his hole and began to cheer on the cyclist along the busy, dangerous 2 lane road. ALLEZ!


Suddenly Peter Rabbit crossed in front of the TOP SPORTER to tell his friends when fate stepped in! A large truck had swerved and almost hit Peter Rabbit! Good thing Peter Rabbit had the reflexes of a real rabbit so that he could offer the rider a chocolate version of himself in a late celebration of Easter! YAY PETER RABBIT!

APRIL FOOLS! He actually wasn't so lucky...Poor Peter Rabbit

In other news, I found a cool road.